Thoughts Unspoken
by xWeAreGolden
Summary: Elena starts to notice that there may be more to Damon than she originally thought as he lets her see other sides of him no one has seen before. They begin to realize how their destinies are entwined.
1. Probing Thoughts

Probing Thoughts

Elena looked silently at the rain pouring on her window sill as she wrote her thoughts down in her diary.

_Dear, Diary_

_Stefan is back to normal and things should be back as they should be, but, they aren't. _

Elena shook her head silently as the she began to write again.

_How could they after Stefan almost hurt me, almost killed Amber, almost took his own life, especially after what he did to…_

She shut her eyes, trying to remove all the thoughts that flooded her mind at the thought of _his_ name. But it did little to help. It only made the situation worse as she remembered her vivid dreams about him.

_I think I'm going crazy, diary, you see. I don't know why, but he always crosses my thoughts and is always in my subconscious even when I try not to think of him. He who is forbidden to me, he who is Stefan's brother, he whom I think about now when I know I shouldn't. I was so angry at him for turning Isobel into a vampire and for torturing Alaric and Stefan endlessly, mercilessly. I almost gave up on him. I called him a 'self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities'. But… _

But…

_He saved his brother twice. Though he claimed not to care for Stefan, he still helped him. And…_

_He saved me. He saved me from embarrassment and utter humiliation at the Founders Day Gala. God, the way he looked at me as we danced, the way he held me as if… he cared for me, wanted to protect me. As if he lov-_

Elena sighed in frustration. As if he was capable of any human emotion besides hate and selfishness! She was angry. She almost fooled herself into thinking that he could change again! But he always let her down, and afterwards she would feel like a complete idiot and her heart would ache, but why? She pushed those thoughts aside as she looked down at her diary and scribbled something before she shut it with force and tucked herself to sleep.

_Damon Salvatore was once a human with emotions and a heart, but that person is gone now. Gone with the hatred that consumes him. And if I think that I can change that, then I truly am a fool._

_Elena_

Okay, so that was the 1st chapter. What do you think?

Please Review. The button is right there… just a click away… haha :]

-Kim


	2. Dreams Of Old

**Dreams of Old**

_He was in the forest not far from the cemetery, wandering about as if lost. That seems to be all he did nowadays, wandering aimlessly around… trying to find a purpose. As if he hadn't found his purpose already, which was to find Katherine, and capture and drag her back to him. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself that she was all he wanted or needed, he had a feeling deep within his heart that was faint, but was clearly telling him that he was meant for something… or someone greater._

_Damon._

_Surprised, he turned around to find no one there. 'Damn forest messing with my mind'. _

"_Damon"._

_This time he knew he wasn't hearing things. He also noticed something about the voice. It was beautiful, like angels calling him. He tried to find the origin of the beautiful voice calling him. It led him to a clearing in the forest that he had never noticed before. That was odd. There was light streaming from its opening. It was blinding in contrast to the dark forest behind him. He was mesmerized and stepped forward entering the clearing._

"_What are you doing here!"_

'_That's not right.' he thought. The beautiful voice seemed angry with him somehow. He then turned and saw the person he least expected to see; yet his heart picked up beat at the sight of her._

_Her long brown hair was let down freely and she was wearing a white and gold summer dress with golden sandals. Her vervain necklace was dangling loosely on her chest. She somehow had a natural light or glow to her. Beautiful…_

_Elena._

_Her lips were moving, but he wasn't paying any attention to a thing she said as his eyes traced her features from her elegant cheekbones to her long slender legs. His eyes finally met hers and he scarcely noticed she stopped talking. She seemed to be drawn to his eyes as his eyes were drawn to hers. A smirk spread across his face as he noticed her heartbeat speed up and get uneven. They looked at each other in silence. Damon met the power of her gaze with the same intensity. Elena then broke the connection and looked away at some unseen object in the distance._

"_What are you doing here Damon?" she asked quietly, but he could easily hear her._

"_What do you mean princess? Wasn't it you who called me?" He smirked._

_Elena glared at him. "No… I saw you in the darkness. I just wanted to ask you why then be on my way, you know, going to explore this place without having to bother with you again." She finished with a smile._

_He feigned a look of hurt and put his hand over his chest. "Why Elena! You wound me! Don't you want to stay here and spend time with handsome, breathtakingly gorgeous me?"_

_Elena rolled her eyes._

_He started moving towards her, getting closer and closer to her. She dropped her eyes to the ground._

"_Oh, c'mon Elena. Don't be like that. You know want you want…"_

_She retreated backwards from his movements, until her back hit a tree. She was trapped._

"_And what you want…"_

_His fingers caressed her arm creating goose bumps in their wake. Elena gasped, but continued to look down._

_His fingers then traced along her collarbone and the side of her neck. He cupped her chin and tilted it up forcing her eyes to look at him._

_He lowered his head so that his lips brushed her ear and whispered "Is me."_

_He then brought his head back and slowly lowered his lips to hers. She didn't fight it. She wanted to, but she was temporarily immobilized by all that was Damon Salvatore. She struggled to remember something that tugged at her memory… something important… but as his lips descended on hers, Damon was all she could think about. 'Who cares about what I should remember' she thought. The only thing that she wanted or needed was his lips on hers at the moment. _

_Damon felt his need for her grow stronger as his lips grew closer to a point where her lips were only a breath away…_

Damon awoke suddenly to the sound of a slamming door. He groggily woke up, pissed off from being woken up from such a good dream. He put his low- waisted jeans on and went to the source of the noise.

Stefan had just gotten dressed and was going to leave for school. Irritated, Damon walked over to his annoying brother.

"Good Morning, Brother."

"Oh. Sorry Damon, did I wake you?" Stefan asked not sounding apologetic at all.

"Yes. I was in the middle of a very… interesting dream." Damon smirked with a gleam in his eye.

This made Stefan suspicious. "Really? May I ask what this dream was about?"

"Oh, nothing to worry your little head about Steffy. And shouldn't you be out hunting for bunnies or something this time of hour?" Damon then turned and walked away leaving Stefan with his thoughts.

As soon as he was sure Stefan had left to go hunting , he poured himself a drink and contemplated over his dream that night. It was like all his others. He would see Elena and just when he was close enough to kiss her, she would always fall away from his grasp. 'Of course… she didn't belong to him. She belonged to brooding, boring Stefan.' He took a big gulp, then threw the glass across the room. Elena shouldn't be the one invading his every thought; it should be Katherine, shouldn't it? He raked his hands through his hair in frustration.

The truth was… he was going crazy over Elena…

**What did you think??? Was it okay??? **

**Music is my inspiration- but so are reviews haha =]**


	3. Midnight Sorrows

**Midnight Sorrows**

Elena let out a frustrated sigh as she began to lie down on her bed and bury her head in her pillow. She just wanted to go to sleep and forget about her life for the moment, forget about Isobel's visit to her earlier that day. She had hoped and sometimes dreamed about meeting her birth mother ever since she found out she was adopted. She thought that they would just 'click' immediately after finding each other, thought that she would have a mother again. She had such high hopes for meeting Isobel to only have it all crush down. Elena let out a sob. How could she think that she would be anything but a poor, lonely orphan destined to be alone? Her parents died, her brother wasn't talking to her, her birth mother never wanted her, she didn't even know who her real father was…

Her pillow was getting more and more drenched by the second, but she didn't care. She was usually strong willed, she hardly ever cried because she always had her family to fall back on and support her. But this time, she knew was it was different. Damon didn't help matters either because he is the one who turned Isobel, who made her into this… this soulless person. She shook her head. Isobel had a choice to be what she is and she chose to see human life as meaningless. A sudden memory of that day popped into her thoughts.

"_You don't have to see her if you don't want to."_

His words were said through understanding and she could tell that he somewhat cared. And as he said those words to her, she vaguely remembered seeing something glimmer in his eyes, but before she could tell what it was, it was gone. _I must be imagining things…_ she thought. Suddenly, she heard a tap at her window. She looked up from the pillow she was currently drowning her sorrows in to lay her eyes on the ocean blue eyes that were staring straight at her. She just stared at him unmoving until he tapped again and spoke.

"You going to leave me here all night?"

When she didn't respond he added "Well, I guess I do deserve it for being an ass and not eating puppies." He smirked.

Elena laughed for the first time all day and went to unlock the window. As soon as she did, he sped in and was inches from her face. He saw the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes and pulled her into his embrace just like she had done once to him. She looked up and saw his face, and she was surprised by the softness she saw there. He slowly lifted his fingers and brushed away the tears that did escape from her eyes and were now cascading down her face. His touch was so gentle, Elena felt somehow safe. She lifted her eyes back to his and another memory from that day came crashing down into her mind.

"_But you took a risk with Damon. How did you know he was going to give it to me?"_

"_Because he's in love with you"_

…_Because he's in love with you…_

Isobel had said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world, like it was obvious. Elena knew that Isobel was just trying to start an argument between the Salvatore brothers and Elena just like Katherine did. And yet, she wondered about the look that crossed his features as Isobel said this. It was almost guilt, an unknown emotion… and… pain?

Trying to regain her sanity, which she never seemed to have whenever she was around Damon, she stepped out of his arms and he unwillingly let her. She silently wiped away her own tears then walked over to sit in the bed. She looked over at him and saw the impenetrable mask that he wore was back on his face.

'Okay, compassion gone… old Damon back…'

"Soooooo Elena, what has made you into the weeping damsel in distress?"

"I'm not a damsel that needs to be saved Damon!" she snapped. She was tired of being overprotected by everyone, especially Stefan and she was sick of it. She could take care of herself.

"But are you in distress?" Elena didn't answer. It was obvious. Damon's lips quirked up.

"Hmmm…" He passed her and laid down on her bed acting as if he belonged there.

"Care to share?" She crossed her arms in defiance and stayed quiet, unwilling to share her troubles with anyone especially Damon of all people!

He looked at her and smiled inwardly at her stubbornness. He sighed and closed his eyes so that it looked like he was comfortable enough to stay for however long he needed to get the answer out of her. "Fine… but you do know that I have all night… and forever… but hey, its your choice."

Elena rolled her eyes and laid down next to him. " Well, you definitely can't stay here forever…"

Damon rolled to the side so that he was facing her and propped up on his elbow to look down at her. He had a mischievous grin on his face.

"Really, Elena? What are you going to do about it? If I remember correctly, I am a vampire and you are a… human." He looked her up and down.

Elena glanced at him, not falling for any of his traps. Then relaxed again and said "I'll call Stefan."

Elena felt refreshed somehow from their bickering. Their bickering seemed to take off the weight she had been carrying since Isobel came back.

"Oh, brother… you seriously think that he could take me? Well of course he could with all his great brooding powers. Ooooo I'm sooooo scared!" Elena doubled over with laughter and lightly slapped his arm.

When her laughter finally subsided, she turned her head towards him and took in his all too handsome features. His eyes were extraordinarily ocean blue today and she thought that if she looked into them long enough, she might find herself lost. Her eyes slowly traced down his perfectly shaped nose down to his lips, which she wouldn't admit, but was the center of gravity of all her dreams. She finally let out a sigh.

"Not tonight." He was about to argue when she placed her finger on his lips to quiet him. "I promise I will tell you when the time is right, but not right now. Okay?"

He nodded slightly and smiled. It wasn't a smirk but a true genuine smile, and Elena couldn't help but smile back. His smile faded all too soon and he got up to leave. Just as he was about to exit her window, she whispered "Goodnight Damon." She could have sworn he said "Goodnight", but she wasn't sure.

When she knew that he was gone, she went to her window and opened it. She silently stepped out on one of the tree branches by the window and sat down. She looked up and gazed at the stars like she used to do when she was a kid. She would just get lost in their beauty. Tonight though, as she gazed upon the stars, she couldn't help but think about Damon. Elena still had goosebumps from where he had touched her and he had really seemed to have cared. _'Could he be changing?_' Elena thought about this. He certainly seemed to care about her safety more… but he was still a selfish killer… though he hadn't killed anyone lately… but how can you be so sure? Elena debated over and over in her mind. Just as she gave up and decided that she would give him another shot to redeem himself, a shooting star flew across the night sky.

Elena smiled and brought herself back to bed. She would try again to redeem Damon, after all what is past is past.

Just as her eyes fluttered close, she saw Damon's face plastered with his genuine smile.

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Sooooooooo what do you think? And I'm super sorry for like a month's break from the story, but I had finals! But now that I'm on break, I got more time on my hands ;)

Oh Well, you know the drill, review...


	4. Damon's Memoirs

**Damon's Memoirs**

Elena opened the door leading to the Salvatore mansion. She half expected to see Damon smirking at her as she entered like he normally was, but was a bit surprised to see Stefan waiting for her.

"Stefan!" she greeted. As soon as she stepped inside, he took her in his arms and kissed her. She basked in his kiss and put her arms around his neck.

"Elena, you finally came." He gave her a quick kiss and trailed his lips down her neck. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the familiar feelings that always arose within her when Stefan kissed her this way.

"I feel like I havent seen you in forever."

Elena laughed. "You saw me yesterday at school!"

"Yet it feels like a lifetime." He said in between kisses.

He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "Ive missed you."

She smiled. "Ive missed you too."

He kissed her deeply and swept her off her feet and carried her bridal style up the stairs to his room with Elena giggling and yelling, "We need to study Stefan!"

Neither of them noticed the dark figure in the corner that had emerged from the kitchen not long after Elena arrived. He walked into the living room and poured himself a drink. He then sat down and gazed into the fireplace getting lost in his thoughts.

Damon had a rare look upon his face at that moment. It was almost agony. The thought of Elena being with Stefan in an intimate way always tore him up inside.

_When did that happen? _

It didnt matter what kind of feelings he had for her, whether it be love or not. He knew that there was no chance she would be with him. She was destined for Stefan. She was Stefans other half. She was Stefans soul mate. He could hear the noises coming from upstairs and he knew that all these things were true. He had promised himself not so long ago that he wouldnt repeat the past not after everything that happened especially not after his heart was broken by his beloved younger brother and his true love.

He and his brother were close... _once_.

He trusted Stefan with almost everything he had. He had loved Stefan and gloried in the fact that he had a younger brother to stand by him when his father looked down upon him. He had someone to sympathize with when he was down in life. He had someone that was his best friend and brother at the same time. Damon loved his brother for all he did, especially when Stefan would stand up to their father and plead Damons choice to leave the Confederacy army.

During his time serving in the Confederate Army, he had received letters from his brother talking about how he met the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He heard so may stories of how his brother had fallen in love, and Damon couldnt help but feel jealous. He wanted to be loved by a beautiful woman as well. Of course he had met many beautiful women when he went to bars during his service, but he felt love for none of them and he knew they felt the same way. There was no spark or excitement.

That all changed when he had met _her_.

Her name was Katherine Pierce.

He was on leave from the war and was returning home when he saw her walking from his house. He had never seen her before and he was completely taken by her beauty. All the women he had met before didnt matter. Were they beautiful? Because he surely had never seen true beauty until he met her. He supposed it was love at first sight. As soon as he was close to her, he introduced himself. She merely looked him up and down, then put on a flirtatious smile. "_Im Katherine Pierce."_ Her voice was beautiful as well and flawless. There was no way she would be classified with flawed mortals, he thought, perhaps she was an angel?

She eyed him hungrily and he felt his cheeks heat up. No one had ever looked at him that way. No one had ever made him feel this way

He had made his decision then.

He would have her.

He would make her his. He would court her until she fell for him. He would then take her hand in marriage as soon as he possibly could before someone else could ever take her away from him. He wanted to spend forever with her by his side. He couldnt help but feel true happiness for the first time since his mother died. He laid in bed that night dreaming about his future with her. He was no longer jealous that his brother had found love, for Damon had found love as well. He was happy for his brother, for himself... he was happy to have met the girl of his dreams, the girl that was his soul mate. _Katherine_...

Then it all shattered.

_"Damon!" Stefan called out._

_Damon quickly ran out to the gardens, where his brother was. "What is it Stefan?"_

_"She's just arrived."_

_"Who?" Damon asked puzzled._

_Stefan laughed. "The girl Ive been writing to you about."_

_Damon laughed as well. "Oh, yes. The girl that has stolen my brothers heart." He slapped Stefan on the back in congratulations._

_"I think its time for you to meet her... ah here she is." He pointed to the woman heading their way with her maid. He couldnt see her face though as she was turned away from him._

_When she finally reached Damon and Stefan, she turned towards them and Damon looked at her in shock._

_"Katherine, this is my brother Damon." She looked at him in shock as well._

_"Damon, this is Katherine Pierce, the woman I am currently courting, the woman that I love."_

_'No... NO!' he thought. 'She was supposed to be mine... she couldnt be the one Stefan had talked about... he was already courting her...' All these thoughts swam in his head as he began to feel sick. It all made sense. That was why she came from his house yesterday. He had not given that much thought until now. She was attending a courtship with Stefan. It had all finally begun to sink in._

_The woman he was in love with was the woman that his brother was in love with as well._

_"Let us go inside. Father has prepared a meal for us. He is so excited to meet you Katherine." Stefan said. He nudged Damon who seemingly was unable to move and led him back to the house. Damon chanced one glance at Katherine behind his back and saw that she was looking at him as well, a curious expression on her face. _

_What neither of the brothers noticed was that as soon as Damon turned away, a malicious smile spread across her face._

Damons dreams of a happily ever after had ended that day. His heart slowly began to break apart ever since that day. Whenever he was left alone in his room, he had known that Katherine was in _his_. Stefan and Damon knew that Katherine courted both of them and this created animosity between them. It had created a competition, brother against brother, each vouching for her heart. His heart was finally broken when Stefan had betrayed the woman that they loved, and had told her secret. She was ripped away from him and he was left with nothing. No soul mate, no father, no hopes for the future, and no brother. His trust for Stefan died that day, and with it his love for him died as well.

It left him with hatred and revenge in his heart.

The first day that he became immortal, he promised that he would torture Stefan for what he did to him and he would find the power to do that. He also made a promise to never let that history repeat itself again. Yet he let himself fall for his brothers girl again. And the oddest thing was that she looked exactly like Katherine. He chuckled darkly before throwing his drink into the fire. Their noises were getting louder. He could hear her call out his brothers name in ecstasy. He wished that he didnt have super hearing at that moment. '_I must be a masochist.'_ He thought. He didnt know where along the lines of spending time with her that he fell in love with her, all he knew was that he was in love with her now. He had let himself put his heart out again by loving Elena and here he was suffering in pain while his brother was enjoying her. He couldnt listen to this anymore, he was falling apart and he needed to get out. He got his jacket and was about to exit the door when he heard her voice.

"I love you Stefan..."

"I love you too..."

Damon punched the door shut with his fist and raked his hands in his hair in frustration as he heard their professions of love with his super hearing. He had lost her. She was never his to lose in the first place. She was never his, but unbeknown to him, she still held his heart. And right now it was breaking...

He crashed down to the floor and listened to Elena's heart as she slipped into undisturbed sleep. Her heart was the only thing that soothed him. Her heart was the only hope he had for redemption. Her heart was the only thing that he wanted and needed in this godforsaken world.

He realized at that very moment that there was nothing _nothing_ that hurt greater than unrequited love.

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**Awww don't you feel bad for Damon? I know I do! Sorry for the sad chapter, but I needed depth in the story.**

**&& Do you guys notice how I write thoughts and inner feelings better than outer words and feelings. I have no idea why that is, but oh well! :)**

**I'm totally addicted to Delena right now! *sigh* anyway... review the story, or chapter pretty please... && maybe if I get enough I'll show LOTS of Delena smut next chapter...**


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